Thieves get thrifty at a department store • Brooklyn Paper

84th district

Brooklyn Heights—DUMBO—Boerum Hill—Downtown

Thieves get thrifty

A pair of thieves stole nearly $2,000 in props from a Fulton Street TJ Maxx on April 6.

Police say the two assholes entered the store near Hoyt Street around 11:30 a.m. and, within ten minutes, filled a black trash bag with goods, then headed for the exit.

Bandit steals goods from home

A thief stole a selection of home goods from an Albee Square supermarket on April 4.

Between 5 p.m. and 8 p.m., the thief loaded a Ninja-brand blender, television and clothing at the target near Fulton Street and fled through the fire escape without handing over even a penny, police said. The store’s security cameras captured every detail of the theft.

Lobby looters grab the radios

Two thieves stole a set of expensive walkie-talkies from a building in Smith Street on April 1.

Police said the pair of thieves followed a delivery man through the front door of a building near Atlantic Avenue shortly before 9 p.m. and took the first things they saw – two walkie-talkies sitting on the desk in the lobby, each worth $400.

A powerful moron takes the broadcasting equipment

A surprisingly strong moron broke into a Bridge Street production studio on April 8 and made off with an expensive camera.

The victim said the moron managed to break into the studio near Water Street around 6 p.m. by breaking through the wall of an adjacent business. Once inside, the goon grabbed a $5,000 broadcast camera and ran out into the street.

Ne’er-do-well sail away

A bum found a new way to navigate city streets when he stole a parked Lincoln Navigator on April 9.

Police say the victim parked the car on York Street near Bridge Street early April 5 and left it there until the evening of April 9, when he discovered someone drove him beat him to death and caused the vehicle to flee. Cops searched the area and nearby businesses, including the Brooklyn Navy Yard, searched their parking lots, but the car was nowhere to be found.

Worm is looking for a new wardrobe

A worm went searching for an illegal new wardrobe in the Fulton Street Macy’s on April 7.

Employees told police the valet entered around 4.30pm and allegedly spent half an hour browsing the department store and putting away designer hats, swimwear, jeans and shorts – but the staff were too quick and cops met the would-be bandit at the door, found his bags full of unpaid treats, and arrested him on the spot.